The Munch

What is it? Basically a neutral place to hunt (for friends and playmates). It is a safe place to find out about the BDSM community you are trying to connect with.

What makes a munch successful?

Well, first make sure you know what you are there for! Is it just to spend some time with like-minded spirits? Just to be around kink…

Or, are you trying to learn more about this BDSM stuff? If so, the munch is only a small step. Of course, it is a huge step if this is your first venture into our community. If it is your first formal step….

Realize:

1. You are responsible for your own experience

2. It is about the communication, so if you have not already done your yes, no, maybe list do it ASAP. It will give you the clarity you need to peruse the playmates.

3. Be careful…we all fall into “familiar” behavior. If you know why you are there…. you will be able to adjust your behavior to attract the type of person you are looking for

4. Although you are at an eating establishment, remember this is a about being around other kinky people, but it is a neutral environment. In most cities, the restaurant will not be happy if you show up in full fetish attire and fall to your knees to lick boots. It is actually rather difficult to find restaurants. So, please be aware that we want to be able to go back to them!

5. You can see the newbies in a safe setting. Then next you can either talk to them on the phone…or meet them at the dungeon.

I recommend:

1. You go to the dungeon without the intention of playing…this will give you the opportunity to observe the players.

2. Watching will give you a lot of information. For example does that person have a good relationship with the rest of the community? Do they get respect from others? Are they in a relationship of some sort? ..

3. You will be able to assess the layout of the place. See what equipment will facilitate your fantasy needs….or maybe even peak your fantasy

Remember:

1. These are people who took the same steps once.

2. You are responsible for your experience in our community

3. You don’t have to be an “expert” to have fun

4. Make friends, that way you have someone to talk to when you need to know more, or don’t understand something….at our dungeon we have dungeon masters they wear an identifying armband, or shirt. Usually they will point you in the right direction. We also have an awesome membership chair who is always happy to help you feel comfortable.

5. If something upsets you ask questions, TALK.

6. When you go to an event arrange with someone you trust who understands this lifestyle, to talk with you a few days after the event. Not just the next day, but three days and maybe a week later. This is cause it sometimes takes us a little while to process what we have experienced. Many times you will have a great time and then find yourself agitated. If this happens…pick up the phone.

And just about any city will have a formal SM Club. I prefer this over just plain lover and bedroom play. I believe just tying each other up and doing it with lovers can be very dangerous…physically and emotionally.

Please read some of my other musing to see what I am talking about.
This is a great community and I am very happy to be a part of it.

Canes

Canes
Canes are usually made of a bamboo substance, but over the years many different types have evolved. Contact me and I will hook you up with a friend who makes them. I have made my own. Then used linseed oil to keep it flexible. If on a budget you can go to a flower shop and get the sticks they use. Check the length, or get several to experiment with. They only cost about a buck. Clean it up! Cause if you break skin, you want it clean! Bamboo needs to be watered occasionally. (You put the tip in water for a few days. It will absorb what it needs.) I like my cane to be somewhat flexible. But not so much so that it becomes hard to control.When I cane bois on their abs while they are doing sit-ups or something I like a shorter cane. Mostly caning is done on the ass. If you have used whips and are proficient at their use you will have an idea of where to hit and how.The butt can be looked at as a square…and have 6 sections…. seeing the count as 1,2,3 down the left and 4,5,6 down the right. When facing the butt you have the section nr. 1 on the top left and section nr. 4 at top right. Those are big nonos. It does not feel good to be hit there, and it can be dangerous.The sections 3 and 6 are ok, as well as going down the legs. You must stay away from the area behind the knees! Most cities have SM clubs. www.dungeonnet.com/weblinks/Clubs/ You can learn much by joining. SM play is serious and dangerous. If we hit the kidneys for example we can injure for life! The clubs are there to educate and help us do what we do in the best way. As well as create a safe atmosphere to do it. Sooooo, the fun stuff is that you warm up the bottom. You take the time to “work” them. Getting them and yourself totally hottttt, caning then will pinpoint the energy! Having set up the scene and negotiated in advance, you are now ready to cane.Often I make the bottom count to keep them focused. Last time I made the bottom get confused counting, so she was being worked on several levels. 1. The pain 2. The focus 3. The trying to please Using voice (creating verbal stimulation) to work the scene, as well as physical sensation.Moving the cane across other parts of the skin, teasing. Allowing the bottom to anticipate the upcoming events. I move around the body…touching and talking. Sliding the cane across her skin. Pushing the tip in as if it were a knife. Whispering. Allowing myself to feel my bottom I move into position.I tell her to show me her ass. I want it presented…up slightly. This is to keep her attention. Many times I touch with my other hand to stay connected if I am not talking. I let my hand wander to special places. Creating more heat, because I know the pain I am about to inflict will be strong. I don’t want her mind to wander! I move the cane up and down between 1,4 and 3,6. Slowly. Anticipating the energy I am about to put into her…I make sure the cane is in a position so it does not “wrap” (that the tip does not come around and hit her where I have not planned).Then…hitting lightly to medium light I find the portions 2,5 and hit. I look for the “right” time and hit once hard on 2,5. Allowing the energy to vibrate through the bottom. Knowing it will take a bit for her to recover. And then I repeat moving the cane up and down on her butt. And when she is ready. I hit again….and repeat…and repeat.(how do I know she is ready?…I read the body language, or I require her to say…Thank you, please may I have another when she is ready!)Another way, is to hit X amount of times quickly. This has been called English sets of 7, I believe. Where the Top hits 7 times hard, quickly. (Not extremely hard…because the amount of hits is part of the entire thing).Canes leave incredible marks, and can be seen as intense as a single tail (which is also used near the end of the scene!) Please be aware of what you are doing. This is supposed to be fun.