Newbies

I had a lover once who got really bent out of shape when she asked me:

“You don’t want to do exploratory S/m with me” and I said, “NO”. I do believe the stuff you do in the bedroom is a different kind of play. Possibly a little lighter would be a way to express it. It is usually an enhancement to sexual erotica. Making your sex time hotter.

S/m to me is not like that. It is a “thing” in itself. It is a way of thinking and living for me. Sex then becomes a tool of domination. This is a turn-on for me!

On the other hand…I do say it is important to gravitate toward people with several (3+) years of experience playing to really get a benefit. I know you may not be attracted to that person and thus had not considered them…but look at the energy and the feelings they create. Go to a play party and see what happens there, and look at those people who are doing what you want to do.
Approach someone who is creating the kind of thing you are fantasizing about, rather than trying to teach your current squeeze how to do it. It may not be a part of who they are right now! And, you will have much more fun with the seasoned player!!!