Etticate

What is it and how does it work? Olde tyme Leather probably has a totally different idea about it than the “kids”. I suppose it is frustrating to me to have something be so important to me, and when I meet a chicki, well they are usually just into the feelings the whole thing produces.

What many don’t realize is that the feelings are directly related to the “how”. When we stick with “tradition” it will produce the results. Staying in role can be tedious; that is quite necessary.

Because …if we let go, and allow ourselves to be manipulated by the bottome/subby we wind up losing what we have worked so hard to accomplish. The TOP/bottom relationship is complex.

You would think it were quite easy/clear. But, it is all dependant on how clear the TOP is with themselves. How they are able hold the energy. Keep themselves under control. When the TOP looses control they also surrender their TOPness!

It is an unconscious game on the part of the Bottom. The Sub wants to know they are safe so they can let go completely. They can only do this if they are sure the DOM is able to hold the energy.

Usually it takes time for this state of being to happen. Over time we get to know each other, we watch one another in the community. Being alert to how situations are handled, creating a sense of appropriate and inappropriate for each other.

Once this has been established, the people involved begin to move as a unit. And yet, constant checkins and re-negotiation is imperative.