Sex vs. SM
Most seem to confuse S/m and sex. Yes, they are very closely related, but not the same…and just because you are serving a Dom does not mean
1. You will have a physical orgasm
2. Be penetrated at all
3. Have overt sexual stimulation
First of all remember who this is about. ! Is it about you the bottom? What is true submission? I am sure you have heard the term: “Topping from the bottom”.
Of course, the more your Top loves you the more the lines can get muddled. It takes work, just as in any relationship, to keep the S/m clean.
As you have probably read by now, “negotiation” is the alpha and omega of BDSM. Do a good job communicating and everyone will be happy. Leave it by the wayside, because you are lazy, incapable, arrogant, or whatever and you are creating a cesspool of energy.
This is unacceptable, because, as far as I know, still today, the leather community communicates and no one wants to loose face and turn around one day and have no one to “play” with.
And, I think, it has to start somewhere. I mean, you don’t see someone and arrange to be their real time slave, without ever having experienced them…or do you?
Which brings me to…all this cyber stuff. Not long ago, I took a trip back to my old stomping grounds, San Francisco. My partner and I went on the prowl, and both me some hot playmates. When we met afterwards and compared notes, it turned out she had a lousy time.
During the negotiations she asked all the proper questions…(and when I have time maybe I will post a set of negotiation terms you can use) …the cute butch number answered and they got going. When the flogger hit the very first time, there was a yell, and something like: “Damn, that really hurts” …NO top should have to work with something like that.
I find it abhorrent and ridiculous. But, we must all take responsibility for what we experience….and learn to ask the right questions…one of which is “Tell me your mental health history, what medication/drugs are you taking” and the other: Tell me about your experience in SM, in particular how much you have played cyber and how much real time.”
It is amazing we have to get so specific. But, I learn constantly and refine my technique. Cause, as I have said before: “If it’s not fun, why do it”….so I am conscientious about creating an environment I will enjoy…get off on.
Just because you are female, or cute, or whatever is not enough for me to want you. I am not needy. If I am going to give you my most valuable gift: “TIME” I do not want to waste it. There are so many wimmin and people who are just wagging their butts to have a quality top notice them, I am not lacking…
I am always on the lookout for certain attributes. And enjoy sharing energy and in the background I am evaluating the possibility of a “contract” or other long-term arrangement.
Oh by the way jealousy has no place in my life!
1. You will have a physical orgasm
2. Be penetrated at all
3. Have overt sexual stimulation
First of all remember who this is about. ! Is it about you the bottom? What is true submission? I am sure you have heard the term: “Topping from the bottom”.
Of course, the more your Top loves you the more the lines can get muddled. It takes work, just as in any relationship, to keep the S/m clean.
As you have probably read by now, “negotiation” is the alpha and omega of BDSM. Do a good job communicating and everyone will be happy. Leave it by the wayside, because you are lazy, incapable, arrogant, or whatever and you are creating a cesspool of energy.
This is unacceptable, because, as far as I know, still today, the leather community communicates and no one wants to loose face and turn around one day and have no one to “play” with.
And, I think, it has to start somewhere. I mean, you don’t see someone and arrange to be their real time slave, without ever having experienced them…or do you?
Which brings me to…all this cyber stuff. Not long ago, I took a trip back to my old stomping grounds, San Francisco. My partner and I went on the prowl, and both me some hot playmates. When we met afterwards and compared notes, it turned out she had a lousy time.
During the negotiations she asked all the proper questions…(and when I have time maybe I will post a set of negotiation terms you can use) …the cute butch number answered and they got going. When the flogger hit the very first time, there was a yell, and something like: “Damn, that really hurts” …NO top should have to work with something like that.
I find it abhorrent and ridiculous. But, we must all take responsibility for what we experience….and learn to ask the right questions…one of which is “Tell me your mental health history, what medication/drugs are you taking” and the other: Tell me about your experience in SM, in particular how much you have played cyber and how much real time.”
It is amazing we have to get so specific. But, I learn constantly and refine my technique. Cause, as I have said before: “If it’s not fun, why do it”….so I am conscientious about creating an environment I will enjoy…get off on.
Just because you are female, or cute, or whatever is not enough for me to want you. I am not needy. If I am going to give you my most valuable gift: “TIME” I do not want to waste it. There are so many wimmin and people who are just wagging their butts to have a quality top notice them, I am not lacking…
I am always on the lookout for certain attributes. And enjoy sharing energy and in the background I am evaluating the possibility of a “contract” or other long-term arrangement.
Oh by the way jealousy has no place in my life!
posted by Night Hawk at 8:10 AM
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