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BlackLeather  

MY PROFILE

As I own several blogs... if you want to know more about THIS leather dyke you can go to:

www.collarme.com and look up the name BlackLeather that would be me!

If you are interested in "something" you can think about it and sort out what you want, then write about it, then maybe send me a note and tell me specifically what you are looking for.

It is my contention that just because you are a woman, into leather and good looking, does not mean we will be a good match.

Master Jacq/Daddi Jacq

TOOLS KEEP YOUR COMPUTER SAFE

I have put up a page for you here:
http://computersandinternet.blogspot.com/

S/m is it sex?

What is it…how do we create it? What does it take to pull up the heat? Well it can start out in several ways

If we meet at a Play Party, then we all know why we are there. It is easy. One of us asks: “So what are you looking for tonight” and the negotiations begin. I believe who is looking etc, comes across.

I do think there is a difference between lovers and S/m relationships and scenes. Probably people start off in a sexual context, but eventually it becomes a separate turn on. S/m is sexual, but sex is used as a domination tool.

Doing S/m in private is almost boring to me. I am an exhibitionist. I find S/m for itself a complete turn on. My mind goes “there” a lot. I walk down the street and think about what I could do on that corner.

And most likely I have done it on a corner like that one, with a person who favors YOU.

LOVE

Can a Top fall in love? If so can they fall for a bottom, another top, a switch? Or maybe even a nilla person?

Yes of course. It is easy to fall in love. When you fall in love….what is you are falling in love with?

That is an important question to ask yourself.

It is the job of the bottom to be in love with her DOM. To adore and worship. This is best done from the heart space. Being able to do things from the heart space is a skill. To “make love” without being in love!

The DOM practices this every time their flogger, hand, etc falls onto a bottom’s skin. I call it compassion. There is something I call “the touch”. Knowing how to access that special place inside myself (heart) and letting it flow through me into my hands and then to the instrument I am wielding.
This is not an accidental thing. It is the A and O of fun, for me.

Collars

It is the Top’s prerogative to choose, and give the collar. It is to be left to the whim of the DOM.

Although it has occurred that a bottom finds, sees a collar they “really really” want….so they acquire it and present it to their Top in the appropriate way.

Appropriate =
Although there are basic rules in the S/m world, Top’s know what they want. Thus, it is a process the bottom must go through to “learn” their prospective Top.

The term I recently heard used is “Under Consideration”.

The person I heard it from was feeling indignant about how she was being treated by a certain DOM. It is like being engaged, it is the pretrial to what you are going to be to each other.

I have also done short-term contracts for six months. Many times, people will approach me about wanting to be a 24/7 slave. Problem is fantasy and reality are different. Book knowledge is definitely a step in the right direction, then virtual experience enhance the heat.

But, nothing replaces the actual real time scene.

Respect

Ya know what? I don’t hate guys. I am a true dyke, a bulldagger as they used to call us. I admire the young who are just who they are. I am a dyke…that is how I identify.

Guys see my profile on www.collarme.com and it is listed as LESBIAN, and they don’t take it seriously…and that is exactly my problem. Guys don’t take wimmin seriously, even when they are talking about bottoming, or being a sub or slave. They are still trying to dominate.

If we put out that we are not interested then that is what we are saying. And I am a DOM, so what part of that do they not understand???

It is a phenomenon I will never get comfortable with. For years I was not even able to have men as my friends. I have evolved past that. Those who are in my life in ANY capacity know how to act. By that I mean true human respect.
In general I am disgusted with most. I hold others to the same standard I hold myself.

Just you?

CollarMe.com

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!

How full of yourself you have got to be to try and control what I do….In other words….when you put out that you “can’t handle” or it “hurts you” when I am with others…what is THAT about?

I mean really…”you want to serve…right?”

One thing that really urks me…is this I want to serve you bizniz and then when I start taking control and doing / being who I am, you as my “bottom” or “lover” or whatever attempt to dictate what is going to happen!

Common now…that is not what it is about…it is not about you it is about ME. You talk about the willingness/need to serve…then that is exactly what I/we are going to expect from you!

Lets be clear here. I am saying it like it is. The medium of today’s technologie has created an environment for all of us to find each other better. It is now truly possible to learn about each other and see if there is common ground.

I suppose I have become an S/m snob. I do have criteria. And, no I really don’t get off on doing “Exploratory S/m”. You better go get you some experience and come back when you have something to offer.

Sex vs. SM

Most seem to confuse S/m and sex. Yes, they are very closely related, but not the same…and just because you are serving a Dom does not mean
1. You will have a physical orgasm
2. Be penetrated at all
3. Have overt sexual stimulation

First of all remember who this is about. ! Is it about you the bottom? What is true submission? I am sure you have heard the term: “Topping from the bottom”.

Of course, the more your Top loves you the more the lines can get muddled. It takes work, just as in any relationship, to keep the S/m clean.

As you have probably read by now, “negotiation” is the alpha and omega of BDSM. Do a good job communicating and everyone will be happy. Leave it by the wayside, because you are lazy, incapable, arrogant, or whatever and you are creating a cesspool of energy.

This is unacceptable, because, as far as I know, still today, the leather community communicates and no one wants to loose face and turn around one day and have no one to “play” with.

And, I think, it has to start somewhere. I mean, you don’t see someone and arrange to be their real time slave, without ever having experienced them…or do you?

Which brings me to…all this cyber stuff. Not long ago, I took a trip back to my old stomping grounds, San Francisco. My partner and I went on the prowl, and both me some hot playmates. When we met afterwards and compared notes, it turned out she had a lousy time.

During the negotiations she asked all the proper questions…(and when I have time maybe I will post a set of negotiation terms you can use) …the cute butch number answered and they got going. When the flogger hit the very first time, there was a yell, and something like: “Damn, that really hurts” …NO top should have to work with something like that.

I find it abhorrent and ridiculous. But, we must all take responsibility for what we experience….and learn to ask the right questions…one of which is “Tell me your mental health history, what medication/drugs are you taking” and the other: Tell me about your experience in SM, in particular how much you have played cyber and how much real time.”

It is amazing we have to get so specific. But, I learn constantly and refine my technique. Cause, as I have said before: “If it’s not fun, why do it”….so I am conscientious about creating an environment I will enjoy…get off on.

Just because you are female, or cute, or whatever is not enough for me to want you. I am not needy. If I am going to give you my most valuable gift: “TIME” I do not want to waste it. There are so many wimmin and people who are just wagging their butts to have a quality top notice them, I am not lacking…

I am always on the lookout for certain attributes. And enjoy sharing energy and in the background I am evaluating the possibility of a “contract” or other long-term arrangement.
Oh by the way jealousy has no place in my life!

Worthy Allies

Worthy Allies

On a whim, I sent a note to a Fem/Top …she was surprised and cautious. All my life, I have found myself on the edge of the edge.

First of all….I have never forgotten ….”Every Daddi needs a Daddi”.

By now, of course, my experience is vast. Energy and Power are a total turn-on. When the energy is “Right” then …

What I am saying is: If it is not fun why do it???

Letting myself get entrenched in other people’s concepts of what I am supposed to be stopped when I came out of the closet. When I sat up and realized I did not need to let my life be dictated by ANYONE but me!

That was probably the momentous time in my life. I will begin posting about my spiritual awakenings as I have time, it will show up under the appropriate heading.

When I was in San Francisco, I know I know…every leatherdykes dream/wish. I enjoyed the freedom of being “myself” in every way.

My most favorite times are when 5 tops have their way with 1 or 2 bottoms. And, guess what….it is not all about the bottoms. I totally enjoy the exchange of energy with the other DOMS. Many times using the bottom to bond over.

For example…imagine a scene…you and I have just totally worked the body of a hot boi, her knees are beginning to buckle…it is time to take her down if we want to pull anything else out of her…

We bring hym down, push hym to hys knees…hy is ready…I pull him toward me…caress his face as I lean back…looking directly into your eyes I slowly unzip….Looking deep into you, entering you with my being….the boi’s butt is in the air…ready for you. You position behind hym and begin to play with hys ass. As, you concentrate on your handy-work you hear a barely audible moan….You look up and see my eyes slightly glazed and…..

Or….we have been friends for a while. Hung out in the same places at the same times, when we notice a gorgeous fem…who is soliciting both of us…we allow her to “work” us by doing the “little things” that public play will allow. We all setup a negotiation date, and then meet at the dungeon. We begin to circle the bottom. She is lovely in her submission. She is absolutely turned on. We (you and I) have done a an exemplary job of preparing her…getting to her…finding what works… By the time we were ready to meet…we were all quite aroused.
This is just the physical manifestation of that energetic interaction, and yes…the bottom is the mechanism through which we create. She feels us, and is grateful to be our tool. We raise the energy and ….as we move around her…touching her prodding her….feel each other….

Power

All Tops/Doms are the same. We want to feel total and absolute..If you make us feel we are a deity you idolize we melt. Now, of course we probably won’t show you but…all the same…we melt.

Many a bottom has been frustrated with me…As I tell them…”I’m easy” do what you do in a submissive way…and you can et just about anything from me. That means deal with it from sub space.

If you just say…I need to get laid or whatever…I WILL take note, but that does not mean anything will happen. If you get on your hands and knees and crawl to me with my strap in your mouth…well that isssssssss another story.

When I was in San Francisco this summer. A woman was soliciting me to do a “scene” with her. Within moments she had dropped to her knees and removed the collar I wear on my boot , with her teeth. I must say…that did it…we played that night and had a great time.

So, ultimately it is about power. I want it. I crave it. I wield it. It is mine. It is who I am.

Give it up to me and we will be very happy.!

Subs?

What makes a sub? You say you want to be my slave, but only have your fantasy to go on….and it isn’t about you is it? If it were would I be your bottom?
I am who I am. …A very exacting Master…and if you don’t find a way to pull my energy, then you will not be around for long…since I do get bored easily. Dull is boring and boring is death.

Healthy...

Working Out???

It is truly my belief that most of is do not “want” to be healthy. Now, I don’t think we sit down and say: “I don’t want to be healthy” ….I do think underneath the first layer, none of us want to be!

There is more than just what is on the surface. I am not sure we can just work on one aspect of health. And, by the way…many of our unhealthy behaviors have something to do with what is called “obsession”. For many years in many ways I have worked on getting rid of my obsessive self…or my obsessive behavior. TO NO AVAIL….

What I have been able to do is, transfer my behavior. To create a new obsession that served me more appropriately.

I first utilized this method by getting involved in the Martial Arts. Aikido in particular. Although since then I have studied various arts…Aikido is my main Art.

Since I hate exercise this was the perfect choice. It gave me movement as well as intellectual stimulation, the by-product was spiritual and emotional growth…. besides being able to kick ass.

Ultimately, it all comes down to a decision!

My new little friend...omg she is so sweet... 

ah Vegahz 

Musings of a Leather Dyke

Musings of a Leather Dyke

Plan a Personalized Menu

Plan a Personalized Menu

I am adjusting to having this blog thing available just about anywhere. It brought up my menu sheeesssh is nothing sacred...oh well. If the link shows up!...then check it out...cause the only diet that ever worked for me was through Jenny Craig. It is what keeps me focused. Especially the woman who is my counselor there. OMG she is such a foodcop...or is it foodtop....lol

Gettin Olde

You know you're gettin olde when you just don't wanna go through the whole hassle of getting yer stuff together to go to the fetish ball...yech

It is only once I reached 35 that I realized there is more to life than just parrrrteeeee. Fortunately I woke up. My method?
Well, have you ever heard of being sick and tired of being sick and tired...?

Leather etc.

I know I gotta take some pictures. It is on my to-do list. I hope to post what we did to the front room. It is now an office and really really different.

This weekend I got to talk to my “close” friend Sandi. She is one of those people, when we talk it is like no time has passed. We just pick up the energy and go from there. Ever since I got my VoIP phone (www.telecomavenue.com) I am busy calling everyone I haven’t talked to in ages.

Matter of fact, I got so into the phone, I made it available in Bisbee. Let me explain. Bisbee is a teensie town in the Mule Mountains of Arizona. I fell in love with it about 7 years ago. I got rid of everything and left San Francisco to live in Bisbee!!! It is an old mining town that is considered a historical icon of the U.S., but unfortunately there is very little for people to survive on.

I joke and say everyone is either:
1. A psychic
2. A masseuse
3. An artist

And probably in that order. I did really well there, cause I love physical labor and am dependable. For some reason, people move there and either had no ethics or lose them. So, if they show up for an appointment at all it is a big deal, let alone be on time.

The mentality is that everyone is where they are supposed to be!!! That can drive a type a personality crazy.

But, only 20 minutes or so you can be at the beginning of civilization. The city of Sierra Vista. It has the “Fort” and is mostly retirees AND it is only about an hour or so from a “real” big city: Tucson.

That is also where the only current dungeon is. I knew about them before I moved here. Since I was an active member of the San Francisco Leather Community it was easy to hook into the Arizona “scene”.

At that time there was PIT (Playing in Tucson) they met at a garage in the house of one of the members. That became a problem so the group re-organized to DD (www.desertdominion.org) and has been running their own place since.

The other organization that is quite popular here is APEX (www.arizonapowerexchange.com) and is near the Phoenix airport.

If kink interests you, read up:

My favorite books are:

Sensual Magic by Pat Califia
SM 101 by Jay Wiseman
Screw the Roses Give Me The Thorns by Phillip Miller http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0964596008/103-6142091-7734211?v=glance

There are websites that talk about the “real deal” and the groups in your area are safe places to investigate and learn. S/m is a great fantasy, but the real life experience may not be for you…as many have found out.

That is why it is imperative to do your homework!!!

The Wave Tsunami

The Wave.

Hearing of the Tsunami is just freaky. When I was around 14 I remember having a dream again and again. It is of a huge Wave coming at me. In the wave are buildings, trees, houses, and everything that belongs to life. I remember standing on a beach looking up at it and watching it come towards me. It is about 50 feet high and I remember thinking that it makes no sense to run, we are all doomed.

Years later I found out that there are many of us who have this recurring dream and that we all go back to “ATLANTIS”. What do I think of that? Well…I do think it goes back to a past life. Whether Atlantis, or Lumaria, does not really matter. Or maybe just an island where I lived.
Although the strength of memory leads me to think it probably was Atlantis/Lumaria. I have a couple of recurring dreams/memories. I will talk about them as I continue to post.

new year 2005

Negotiation Form You will have to cut and paste

Directions: create 3 columns and paste this in then answer and then mark
YES NO MAYBE.

Fetish Activities:
24/7 (Total Power Exchange)
Age Play
Anal Sex (Giving)
Anal Sex (Receiving)
Arse (Ass) Play
Asphyxiaphilia (Breath Play)
Biting
Blindfolds
Blood
Body Hair
Bondage
Branding
Breast/Nipple Torture, Clamps, etc.
Candle Wax
Chains
Chastity Devices
Chinese Balls/Ben Wa Balls/Anal Beads
Cling Film
Cock and Ball Torture, Clamps, etc.
Collar and Lead/Leash
Confinement/Caging
Coprophilia (Shit Play)/Scat
Cross Dressing
Cupping (Suction of the Skin)
Dacryphilia (Arousal from Tears)
Defilement, Seeing a Partner Dirty or Wet
Denim
Depilation/Shaving
Dildos (Handheld & Strap-ons)
Discipline
Doctor/Nurse Fetish
Domination
Ears
Electrotorture (EMS TENS units)
Exhibitionism/Sex in Public
Feathers
Fire Play
Fisting
Food Play
Gangbangs
Hair Pulling
Handcuffs/Shackles
High Heels
Humiliation
Infantilism/Diapers
Klismaphilia (Douching/Enema)
Knife/Needle Play
Lace/Lingerie
Lactation
Latex
Leather
Making Home "Movies"
Masks
Masochism
Massage
Master/Slave
Masturbation
Mutual Masturbation
Nipples
Oral Fixation
Oral Sex (Giving)
Oral Sex (Receiving)
Pain
Pantyhose/Stockings
Participating in Erotic Photography
Piercings
Pinching
Play Piercing
Podophilia (Foot Fetish)
Power Exchange
The Rack/Medieval Devices
Religious (Nunplay, Priestplay)
Retifism (Shoes or Boots)
Rimming
Role Playing
Rubber
Sadism
Scent
Sensory Deprivation
Sex During Menstruation
Spanking/Paddling
Talking Dirty
Tickling
Tongue Fetish
Toys
Transvestism
Urolagnia (Water Sports/Urine)
Vibrators
Voyeurism
Whips

Please do this in the form of columns, it makes it easier for your TOP!

The opinions here are mine, they are opinions and if disagree that is ok. Want to comment please do, if you can’t handle it go away!